Were they lovers?
In defense of Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day brings on a sort of nostalgia for me. From the elementary school parties to begging my mom to let us take a half-day off to go to lunch and eat candy, I have to defend this holiday. There is just something about a day devoted to the person or people in your life that’s filled with pink flowers and heart-shaped chocolates that I find so lovely. There is no shortage of lovers, yearners, and collectors in this world; they will show love on Valentine’s Day and hopefully receive it tenfold as well.
While, for the last twenty-six years of my life, not having a “person” to spend the day with, suddenly having that kind of connection is enchanting, but it does not necessarily make the holiday any more special in my eyes. I always made it a habit to bake, call a friend, wear cute pjs, and make it a night of pampering myself, as everyone else should. Valentine’s Day does not start and end with couples; it extends to everyone feeling the love of family, friends, and themselves. Now, would I say making a Valentine’s basket for my boyfriend wasn’t very therapeutic and delightful? No, because it most definitely was. The pressure of Valentine’s Day can be tiring, but focusing on the loneliness is the hindrance when what should also be highlighted is what has been granted to us as individuals and the self-love we will one day learn to possess.
Nowhere do I love Valentine’s Day more, though is through literature. While the origins of the day and Saint Valentine are more bleak and open-ended, the Middle Ages & the literature that came from it solidified Valentine’s Day as the day of love. Writers like Shakespeare helped shape the holiday as we know and love it today, with his over-the-top love confession still used on Hallmark cards today.
While Shakespeare is the final stepping stone to Valentine’s Day Medieval writers like Geoffrey Chaucer connected Saint Valentine with “courting love” of the knights and women they had fallen in love with. Chaucer also dubbed February “birds find their mates,” which ties it back to Valentine’s true origins as a celebration of the upcoming spring months, since the middle of February marked it.
There is so much tenderness of love displayed throughout literature, from the highly regarded classics to modern love stories, encouraging people to read more. From Jane Austen’s Pride & Prejudice 2005 adaptation, giving the world the hand flex scene, to Franz Kafka’s Letters to Milena, love is all around us in writing, so write about love.
"To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day,"- Shakespeare, Hamlet
Another beautiful part of Valentine’s Day is the homemade cards. It’s time to bring out the scrapbooking materials and oil pastels and create (or try your best, in my case). The 1800s brought about the first of the Valentine’s Day cards, and I am utterly obsessed with them. These cards often featured the symbolism we associate with Valentine’s Day, such as doves, keys/locks, and guardian angels. They were extravagantly decorated with lace and ribbons, going above and beyond in detail, until they were mass-produced by the 1850s. Bring back the lavish and lace-filled cards, Hallmark, you are over.
While I am a yearner, a lover of both love and this holiday, I can admit that sometimes you are just not feeling it. Walking into every store where there are teddy bears and flowers, and the commodification of love becomes exhausting. You want to turn into an Anti-Valentine’s Day individual, the desire to not have this one day be shoved down your throat. What better way to not partake in Valentine’s Day than with books directly contrasting the lovey-dovey nature of this day?
Even with loving love and the personal meaning I have behind this holiday, Anti-Valentine’s and the absence of love in books, especially modern literature, is where I want to stay. Often modern literary fiction books depict unhealthy relationships, bodily horror, and the search to find yourself outside of another person, with sometimes some cannibalism thrown into the mix, just sometimes. The hardships of the human condition and the isolation that permeates our everyday lives, explored through these books, can be a relatable and safe place for us to hide. So with Valentine’s Day coming up, still have these books on deck.
Whether you are spending Valentine’s Day with a partner, a friend, family, or enjoying the company of yourself, there is no gesture too small or inconsequential that won’t matter. This day can create the need for big gestures, something grand and over-the-top, but the little things are what make this holiday or any other day. Making a homemade card, remembering a candy someone mentioned was their favorite, or just making a tiny effort that shows you have been paying attention and grasp onto someone’s interests, desires, fears, and personality, that is what’s going to go a lot farther than grand. The way I feel most loved is when someone says, “I remember you said you liked xyz,” and makes that small effort, as I hope I’ve made someone feel the same way with writing everything down and collecting, like a true yearner would.
Hope my Substack lovers have a beautiful Valentine’s Day and the yearners continue to yearn. 🦢Makayla xx
